Putting Responsibility Where It BelongsB.J. Lawry
"Stop staring at me," I said.
"I have a right to stare at you."
"Because I'm protecting my integrity. I have to be careful what you put into me."
"Oh, you and your pride."
"Listen, I'm lovely. I'm buxom and delicate with a long, slender leg."
"You have a flat foot."
"That shows I have stability. More than you give me credit for."
I got up to go to the kitchen.
"And don't bring back that Doctor Pepper!"
I returned and flopped on the couch, glaring at the glass, which, of course, was glaring back at me. "And what am I supposed to bring back?"
"Oh..." A graceful sort of sway took place in front of my eyes. "How about a nice French champagne, perhaps several hundred years old."
"Don't you think I'm worthy?"
I laughed louder. "I bought you at Walmart, you..."
"Crystal, darling. Crystal."
"You're not crystal, you snob."
"They said I was crystal."
"They fooled you."
I tipped the bottle and barely touched the inside with Doctor Pepper.
"You'll like it."
"How can I like anything so... crude!"
"Make believe you're slumming."
"But it... itches!"
I drank, sputtering when the fizz hit my nose.
"I told you it was bad."
I wiped my face.
"Go back to the kitchen and see what else you can find."
"I'd better go to the store."
"Dom Perignon is good."
"You drive me to drink."
I swear that glass laughed.
Copyright ©2000 B.J. Lawry. All Rights Reserved.
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